In the business.

I've noticed this pattern where although I'm really attracted to pretty guys with an ovular soft symmetrical faces like myself .. they always need coercion


I remember how i met my last pretty boy.. ahh young love

"No that is heat in my pocket and you are comin with me. draper grab his ass. hold em hole em "

too bad that those dates always end with a splash in Hudson river

But I always attract these muscle face guys with the strong jaw and/or ample facial hair ..

so as I was coming from my boy Draperz this muscle face guy started puling on his crotch as he passed me.. It wasnt a lot of pulling and he was very sexy .. Dark and smooth 20 something and towering he looked sharp too carved out of Onyx .. But i was rushin to get to Vedou's


Me draper and vedou (both are actually heterosexual..lord knows I've tried) the original Godfathers of a local community group dedicated to furthering the goals of the underprivileged.


so I couldn't look or really respond but as i passed him another guy walking behind me asked the Onxy mystery man that I just passed

"Yo you got a problem with your zipper ?"

( just like that )

you know the whole world seems to have an issue with gay sex

that's how freakin good it is !!

I cant imagine going out of my way to stop some frivolous flirtation in fact im often forced to endure parodies of such flirtations ugly heterosexuals getting all national geographic
whenever im on sight


maybe that why DL guys are oh so so scared .. But I'm Not

(Cant shake me :)


If that guy had said that to me and yes I do grab my crotch at pretty boys too. I would have said ..

" yea my hands are little slippy maybe you can help me since you all in it ..You can get a better grip on it if get down on your kneepads and use your teeth "

3 DL Boys vers. the original Homothug

From now on we talk current events im not giving away the cow on this



So My Bf has a thing for DL boys and I want my friends to be happy and satisfied.. It's rather empowering disposition

So although I really cant deal with DL guys (i have a 3 hour threshhold..after which my head explodes ) .. I think they are just cowardly lions.
I decided to teach my Boy how to to attain an ample serving of DL guys using a few methods I tripped upon when i was a teenager ..


Rule 1. Don't Bother with guys that do too many DRUGS regardless of their size they probably have a hard time maintaining hardness (alcohol can be an exception)


Rule 2. Cruising pedestrians is a waste of time
they are often too busy too vulnerable too conscious and terrified of what other people think
(thats why i think they are softies in training) Cruise Drivers!! they are lonelier they feel safer and more isolated .. they probably have been cruising you and riding around the block stalking you and you've hardly noticed.. Open your eyes.
walk with some determination and show no fear ..you have right to bear arms too particularly if you own a business...

Rule 3 : It'll be harder if you "look-a like a man" be a pretty boy small and smooth is better but don't exhibit 'vagina-envy' it degrades you you'll never be a better woman than a woman (even F$%$gs dont like F$%$gs) the farther from this standard the more alcohol you probably need (lol) be confident in this situation they're so scared they're concerned what everyone will think and say you got to be the man you have be the driver..show them how pansy they are for being so cowardly all the while being confident and composed ...How many men have to be in the room before one of you starts acting like one and takes control..

Rule 4.. too good to be giving away here for free My friends know it and its real simple but a lot my jokes end up remixed or verbatim stolen and credited to someone else so so i put this one in my book due for Christmas.. (why should have to go home to poverty?)


so me and my boy we implemented the rules and guess what we got 3 DL guys and two other gay guys ( just in case we need backup ) we know over to the apartment Friday night..


the first two we met at a theatre uptown .. the guy seated next to me kept rubbing my leg with his leg throughout the movie. It was subtle He didn't bend over and start licking my leg it was almost unbearably delicate .. Wherein you don't know if it was just an accident or ... but it continued and progressed as the movies concluded.. I didn't say word about it to my boy seated on the other side of me until the movie was over and we got up to leave .

" I think the guy sitting next to us was rubbing my leg should i say something? .."

"He wanted to fight you."

"what? no i think i he was flirting or .."

"he got big legs?"

"Ill be right back"

As i approached the guy . My confident swagger covering a formidable desire to flee the scene. This guys wasn't just flirting he recognized.

" Hey me and my Bim-boy wanna go get some drinks and i thought you guys you help me carry him home after he gets plastered."

(Comedy always works and it comes easy to me)

they laughed

" I'll go if it cool with my boy"

(Dam he was FYnE.. i hadn't noticed he had a friend with him)


so they accompanied us to a local bar and just when the vultures started moving in we grabbed them up and took them back to my crib


when we get there i discovered they were both agressives ( big surprise..)
and so i started calling and texting qualified submissives to assist me in making them feel comfortable since i am very unhelpful in that regard



My Bf wanted to pick up his friend from Parkchester so he went to go grab him and i was there juggling anecdotes and putting on my rendition of Rocky horror picture show for the guests

anti cip ....................pation


when My Bf arrived in parkchester his friend got the willies and decided to stay put. It started raining as he left to return to a apartment.

although both he and I are calling cab companies it seemed impossible to score a cab .. so he implemented one of my rules and what do you know this hot young puerto rican driver offered him a ride home ..


He's a master student

My BF offered to pay the fella but he declined after a few awkward moment my BF invited the boy upstairs and called me to confirm ... the boy said he'd think about it and my BF headed upstairs ..


" You mean he just took you home and didn't take the money and you didnt mess around? "
"Yep ... that cruising cars thing is so on the money..I think he wants to come upstairs."
"lemme smell your breath."
"what?"
"I want to see if it smells like D!(k... i dont want you scaring off our theater pick-up "
"ok ?"
"ok"

shortly after the boy started ring my buzzer and we let him up


At this point i had three DL guys in my house and i was not likely to do anything with them great ....the things i do to make my friends happy ... i do like to watch

already im bored but i tried to get it started N E Way

" Got some Gin in fridge " (I'm so classy)


Ok we had fun i'd save you the sordid details if this was a pg site but it's not

My BF can put in work

the cab driver was packin and of course so were the two brothers from the theater .. the flirty FYnE one gave me a kiss and that was huge i dont even kiss consistant lovers ..it s was really nice too .. i ended up flippn his friend...


But ...theres always a but..

when the PR driver got up to go he said the typical mandatory DL sign off

"you know if you guys see me in the street you don't know me" with out a a second hesitation i responded."


No one's that cute to me you are all expendable

"Aight aight man I'm busy .. hit it ."


then he rose up
"what?"


then i rose up

"Claro que si ..my heat is on ?"

he looked around at my two theatre friends .. and just left quietly

My bf walk him out


then my BF said

" I think you took that all wrong I kinda think it's sexy when they say stuff like that "


he still got a lot to learn

"Boy... he 'll only say what he thinks he can get away with ..I just let him know he cant say stupid typical crap like that around me.."


Can you imagine what they'd still be saying in rap music

If I didnt stand up to the character rappers n the rest 5 years ago ..n say

"im Too good n too hood for that SH#%$t"



OOOh Remember

What's Gayer than Fallwell and the Purple Teletubby -POLAND AND IRAN!!

THE ALIEN STAND UP SHOW
I CANT FIND A BETTER WAY TO MEASURE HOW GAY A SOCIETY ISTHAN TO SEE OR MEASURE HOW MUCH DETERRENT THEIR OWN LEADERS FEEL THEY NEED TO PREVENT GAY SEX FROM BREAKING OUT ON THE CAPITAL STEPS
IF YOUR 15 AND GET CAUGHT DAYDREAMING ABOUT ANOTHER MAN IN IRAN ONE COULD FACE A MYRIAD OF CAPITAL PUNISHMENT SCENARIOS(IT'S HARD TO EXAGGERATE MADNESS..)
THESE CRIMINALS ARE SLOWLY GIVEN MILLIONS OF PAPER CUTS AND THEN THEY ARE DOUSED WITH ALCOHOL BEFORE BEING SET ON FIRE ALL THE WHILE STILL ALIVE AND THEY ARE FED TO STARVING DOGS. BUT YOU CAN RAPE WOMEN IF THEY ARE IN YOUR FAMILY IT'S ALRIGHT BY SHARIA
THIS IS THEN BROADCAST ON THE PUBLIC ACCESS HOMO HUNTING FAMILY HOUR FOCUS ..MAYBE THAT WILL STOP THOSE HOMOS ..(OR MAYBE WE ARM SOME OF OURS WITH VIAGRA AND SHIP OVER THERE)
ALL IM THINKING IS WOW THAT GAY SEX MUST BE REALLY HOT IN POLAND!!! .. HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING DO GOVERNMENT LEADERS FEEL YOU HAVE TO DO ALL THAT TO STOP STRAIT SEX FROM HAPPENING IN POLAND OR IRAN?
LITTLE DO THEY REALIZE THAT THEY ARE ACTUALLY SAYING THAT GAY SEX IS THIS A HOT UNCONTROLLABLE THING IN POLAND AND IRAN THAT THEY HAVE TO WORK OVERTIME BECAUSE SOCIETAL OSTRACISM (THE SECOND BIGGEST FEAR-SORRY BUT WHEN YOU'RE OBVIOUS YOUR FEARS ARE QUANTIFIABLE)CHURCH AND COMMUNAL REINFORCEMENT
THE MIDEV-ILLEGAL POLITICAL SYSTEM AND ARROGANT NEANDERTHALS
SIMPLY ARE NOT ENOUGH
TO DISCOURAGE PEOPLE FROM ENGAGING GAYNESS?
WHILE HETEROSEXUAL SEX IS SOMETHING THAT PARADOXICALLY THEY HAVE TO BE STRONG ARMED OR SCARED INTO ? (THAT REALLY MAKES IT HOT BY THE WAY.. I ACTUALLY PREFER MY SEX FDA APPROVED)
STRAIT SEX ON SALE $5000 CASH BACK WITH DOWRY
IF I WAS JUST A VISITING ALIEN FROM THE PLANET x (YOU TRAITORS.. YOU IS THAT INS? THE IMMIGRATION POLICE? COWELL HAS MY PAPERS! I'M A PERFORMER FROM THE EAST)

(OK I'M BACK)
IT WOULD LOOK LIKE HETEROSEXUALITY WAS A COERCED AFFAIR IN MANY COUNTRIES ..
SO GO AHEAD POLAND AND PUT THE PURPLE TELETUBBY ON TRAIL .. HANG HIS PURSE ON FIRE FROM YOUR HEAVENLY CATHEDRAL MOSQUE
YES IRAN IM SURE THERE'S SOME MORE PRE-PUBESCENT YOUTH GOD WOULD LOVE TO SEE HUNG ALIVE FROM YOUR INNOVATIVE AND INVENTIVE FLAG (A CONTRIBUTION TO THE WIND)
GOD IS SO PROUD YOU KEPT YOUR PENIS IN YOUR PANTS THAT MUST HAVE BEEN HARD WORK HUH? MUCH HARDER THAN HAVING GENERAL RESPECT FOR LIFE OR PROMOTING THE REALIZATION THAT WE'RE DIFFERENT FOR A REASON
(DIFFERENT THINGS TO CONTRIBUTE WOULD BE BETTER THAN THE SAME THING NO?)
THEY TEACHING THAT ON THE 700 CHANNEL OF SPIRIT UNIVERSITY
PERHAPS GOD IS PAYING ATTENTION THROUGH THE GUT WRENCHING LAUGHTER
I WOULD NEVER SPEAK FOR GOD
BUT PERHAPS
JUST MAYBE
GOD CARES A LITTLE ABOUT THE COMPASS OF YOUR SPIRIT BECAUSE THE PHYSICAL IS TEMPORARY.
(ENJOY YOUR PRIVATES NOW FOLKS THEY AIN'T COMIN BACK). BUT YOUR SPIRIT EMBODIES YOUR CHOICES TOWARDS LIFE FORMS THAT GOD MADE FOR REASON .... THERE'S NOT TOO MANY CIVIL OR LEGAL DETERRANTS THAT WILL PREVENT PHYSICAL AROUSAL AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO ACT ON IT BUT ACTING ON THAT IS DIFFERENT THAN ACTING (OFTEN PREMEDITATED)
TO IMPOVERISH DEPRIVE OF OPPORTUNITY MURDER STARVE TORTURE MALIGN IMPOSE OPINION MANIPULATE OBVIOUS FEARS OR TO WORK DERISION TO YOUR PERSONAL ADVANTAGE
THEY CANT WAIT TO HAVE PEOPLE LIKE THAT EVER AFTER DEATH
MORE CRAZY LOGIC FROM A DEVOUT ALIEN
WHATEVER ONE IS AFTER DEATH HAS VERY LITTLE TO DO WITH THE PHYSICAL TOOLS YOU WERE ENDOWED WITH WHILE MORTAL SO WHY IS THAT SUCH AN OBSESSION WITH PEOPLE WHO SHOW AN EXASPERATING (EXHAUSTING) CONCERN WITH THE AFTERLIFE?
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER IT'S MORE NOBLE TO EAT OR TO WRITE OR TO BUILD WITH MY HANDS
BUT I DON'T THINK ANY OUTSIDE ORGANIZATIONS SHOULD BE DICTATING (IMPOSING) TO ME THE PROPER OR GOD ORDAINED USE OF MY HANDS BECAUSE SO LONG AS I'M NOT CHOKING THEM
OR DEPRIVING THEM OF FREEDOM OPPORTUNITY TO REALIZE POTENTIAL THEY WERE INTENTIONALLY ENDOWED WITH
THESE TEMPORARY FRUIT FLIES SHOULD NEVER HAVE HAD THE AUDACITY TO SPEAK FOR GOD WITHOUT EXPLICIT PERMISSION ..
HOW COULD SO MANY "BELIEVERS"LET SOME DIVISIVE NEANDERTHAL OFFEND THE CREATOR AND NATURE
HOW WAS THIS ALLOWED TO GET SO OUT OF CONTROL
(PERHAPS BECAUSE PEOPLE TRY TO HOLD BACK PEOPLE WITH REAL POTENTIAL- IMMORTALS LOVE THAT)
BUT I KNOW WE'RE ALL SCARED TO DIE AND ALL THAT FEAR HASNT CHANGED DEATH AT ALL
2 CONSENTING ADULTS GETTING BUSY IS NOT INHERENTLY ABUSIVE AND IS OUTSIDE THE BOUNDARIES OF THE TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP CIVIL SOCIETY SHOULD REGULATE .
BUT CAN WE HAVE A STATION IN THE SECULAR SLICES DEDICATED TO LAUGHING AT HOW ALL THE POOR ABRACADABRA HOCUS FOCUS NATIONS ARE STILL STUCK ON STUFF THE WEST CREATED AND LEFT BEHIND OR DON'T TAKE SO SERIOUSLY/LITERALLY ANYMORE -
TAKE THE ANGLICANS IN AFRICA-- WATCH YOUR SHRIMP CONSUMPTION
OH NOW THEY ARE OVER IN AFRICA TELLING THE DESCENDANTS OF THE ORIGINAL ANGLICANS HOW THE SHOW IS RUN -- GOD SURE DOES HAVE A GREAT SENSE OF HUMOR
CAN U IMAGINE THE NOTE )(THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR TALKING FOR ME IN THE FIRST PLACE BEST OF LUCK WITH YOUR TEST SINCERELY
G)
WHAT WOULD THEY KNOW ABOUT THE BIBLE SAVE WHITE MANS BURDEN ?-IT'S EMBARRASSINGLY ILLOGICAL TO TURN AGAINST NATIVE GAYS IN YOUR OWN HOME SPACE FOR THE WORDS OF MORTAL MEN COMPLETELY UNRELATED TO YOU.
JUST TO COPE WITH THE INTENTIONAL MYSTERY AND FINALITY SURROUNDING DEATH..
FOR WHATEVER REASON
(SPEAKING AS AN OBJECTIVE ALIEN)
I FEEL LIKE GOD AND NATURE WANT ME TO BELIEVE THAT DEATH IS AS FINAL AND HORRIBLE AS IT LOOKS. AND IT ALSO DOESN'T SEEM THAT GOD IS ACTIVELY TRYING TO CONVINCE US TO BELIEVE OTHERWISE
( .. MEN AND BOOKS DO BUT NOT GOD .. EVEN IF THAT ISN'T THE END .. ISN'T THATS WHAT GOD AND NATURE WANT US TO BELIEVE OR BEHAVE LIKE ?..
I BELIEVE GOD EXISTS. THERE IS EVIDENCE AND GOD MAY REVEAL MORE WHEN WE SUBMIT TO COMPLETING THE TEST LAID OUT BEFORE US
THIS HERE PARALLEL WORLD WHERE SO MANY DECIDED TO SPITE THE TEST AND THE RULES AS NATURE AND GOD HAVE PRESENTED.
DISTRACTED BY MORTAL SPECIFIC BEHAVIOR DEATH PROCREATION SEX ALL WHICH IS IRRELEVANT TO THE IMMORTAL LIFESTYLE
IS THAT SUCH A HUGE LEAP OF LOGIC? HOW YOU TREAT FELLOW MAN AND WHAT YOU CONTRIBUTE IS MORE RELEVANT TO COMMUNAL IMMORTALITY( IT MAY BE HARD TO GET RID OF THE GUY/GAL WHO DOESN'T FIT IN)? THE HUMAN LIFESPAN 75- 80 YEARS AND YOU DON'T GET THAT IN THAT AMOUNT OF TIME AND YOU WANT LIVE ON FOREVER BUT UNDER PRESSURE YOUR TRUTH SHOWS
YOUR SITTING AT THE TIMED TEST SATS STOMPING YOUR FEET AND REFUSING TO OPEN THE BOOKLET, BECAUSE THE TEST WILL END AND THE INSTRUCTOR HASN'T TOLD YOU WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT(G THAT IS SO UNFAIR WHO WOULD CONCOCT SUCH A?..)
SO YOU CREATE YOUR OWN RULES INDEPENDENT OF THE FACT THAT YOUR SITTING AT AT DESK AND YOUR RULES ARE ALREADY DEFINED FOR YOU .. INSTEAD YOU FIGURE IF YOU STAY NEAT CROSS YOUR LEGS AND DON'T USE THE BATHROOM YOU CAN HANG OUT IN THE CAFETERIA AFTER THE TEST ..
DON'T BE MAD THAT THE TEST IS TIMED IF YOUR LAZY MAYBE THAT'S Y.
LORD KNOWS WHAT FANTASIES YOU'D PURSUE HAND IN HAND HAD YOU INFINITE TIME TO TRASH
AND GUESS WHAT YOU'D STILL FAIL RIGHT?- DONT WORRY THERE'S PLENTY OF ROOM FOR IT ..(GOOD COMPANY)
(AND TO THE DEPRIVED THE POOR THE GAY THE WOMEN THE DARK THE ETHNIC HAVE HOPE THEY KNOW YOUR PENCILS BROKEN)
I CAN BE POOR BLACK GAY FEMALE LOWER CLASS WHATEVER AND YOU CAN HATE ME YOU CAN KILL ME -(HASTEN YOUR OWN PREDICAMENT) BUT IF HE/SHE DISADVANTAGED DO BETTER ON THE TESTGUARANTEED YOU WILL ANSWER TO HIM/HER OR EVEN WORSE EVENTUALLY ACCORDING TO THE PRINCIPLE OF IMMORTALITY. (HOW ELSE WOULD YOU GET AHEAD OF HIM/HER..IGNORING THE TEST?)WHAT ASPECT OF HUMAN BEHAVIOR REALLY MATTER WITH COMMUNAL IMMORTALITY .. SOUNDS A LITTLE BETTER THAN STUDIO 54 ? MAYBE IT'S LITTLE MORE? ..
(...IS THERE ANY OTHER CONTRARY EVIDENCE?)
YOU KNOW I'M GOING DO A BLACK MANS BURDEN AND(I'M JEWISH ACTUALLY) IM GOING TO TAKE VOODOO AROUND THE WORLD AND I WONT FEED PEOPLE UNTIL THEY CONVERT TO VOODOO OR CANDOBLE OR SANTERIA .. BY THE WAY I WANT SOME GOVERNMENT FAITH BASED FUNDING FOR MY SANTERIA PROCLIVITIES BECAUSE SAVING NEANDERTHALS FROM ABJECT APATHY GETS EXPENSIVE
MAYBE ONE DAY PEOPLE IN IRELAND WILL BE TELLING ME HOW TO DO VOODOO
(THATS CRAZY RIGHT BUT SEX HAS A LOT TO DO WITH PREPARING TO BE OR BEING IMMORTAL?)


OK ONE LAST THING IN COMMUNAL IMMORTALITY MURDER IS NOT AN OPTION


EMBARRASSING BUT ENTERTAINING


Effective
IM PUTTING MY (BETTING) CHIPS ON REALITY